Monday, June 15, 2009

Quote: John Green

Most young adult books don't come with footnotes. When they do, you can expect entertaining randomness, as in this section, including awesome footnote, from An Abundance of Katherines by John Green (known also for his correspondence as one of the Vlog Brothers along with his brother Hank):

"Over the years, people had occasionally sought to employ Colin in a manner befitting his talents. But (a) summers were for smart-kid camp so that he could further his learning and (b) a real job would distract him from his real work, which was becoming an ever-larger repository of knowledge, and (c) Colin didn't really have any marketable skills. One rarely comes across, for instance, the following want ad:

"Prodigy
Huge, megalithic corporation seeks a talented, ambitious prodigy to join our exciting, dynamic Prodigy Division for summer job. Requirements include at least fourteen years' experience as a certified child prodigy, ability to anagram adeptly (and alliterate agilely), fluency in eleven languages. Job duties include reading, remembering encyclopedias, novels, and poetry; and memorizing the first ninety-nine digits of pi.33

---
"33Which Colin did when he was ten, by making up a 99-word sentence in which the first letter of each word corresponded to the digit of pi (a=1, b=2, etc.; j=0). The sentence, if you're curious: Catfish always drink alcoholic ether if begged, for every catfish enjoys heightened intoxication; gross indulgence can be calamitous, however; duly, garfish babysit for dirty catfish children, helping catfish babies get instructional education just because garfish get delight assisting infants' growth and famously inspire confidence in immature catfish, giving experience (and joy even); however, blowfish jeer insightful garfish, disparaging inappropriately, doing damage, even insulting benevolent, charming, jovial garfish, hurting and frustrating deeply; joy fades but hurt feelings bring just grief; inevitable irritation hastens feeling blue; however, jovial children declare happiness, blowfishes' evil causes dejection, blues; accordingly, always glorify jolly, friendly garfish!"

- John Green, An Abundance of Katherines

Oh, except...shouldn't the first "garfish" begin with "f"? (Not an easy fix, though.)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Actually, the First garfish should start with an H

Jen said...

Thanks. However, I see ...7932384(6)26... as
"...gross indulgence can be calamitous, however; duly, (garfish) babysit for..."